Time Has A Strange Habit Of Ticking By...

August 10th 2010

Chuckles

Louise's cardiac surgeon is back from holidays tomorrow, Wednesday.  Before he went I had phoned our specialist nurse just to ask what we should expect re notice for surgery...would we get a telephone call or what?  She told me there are seven babies prioritised for when he returned and Louise is one of them.  She'd speak to the surgeon and see could she get a rough date for us.  When I telephoned back she had spoken to him and he said he thought Louise's surgery would be a bit later into August and not immediately when he came back.  It was reassuring to hear that he didn't think she was the most urgent case.  The cardiologist has said that he doesn't want to leave her any longer than August as her only protection at the moment is the pulmonary band which is more of a protective procedure than actually a solution.  As she gets bigger she needs a more permanent course of action.  So at the moment we have no date but the nurse also told me to be ready as if a baby scheduled for surgery has an infection or the bloods aren't right they'll ring us to come in at short notice as we live the nearest to the hospital.  If they ring John can immediately start Louise with the nasal antiseptic cream.

Treasured Moment

For the last two weeks I've been breathing easily as I've known the surgeon was away but now I'm beginning to feel really anxious.  We've a slight problem in that Louise has been bugged by a persistent cold/cough/runny eye and is now on her second course of antibiotics to try and get rid of it.  I don't know whether they'd postpone surgery because of it  but we really want to be sure she's in good condition for it.  She also seems to be teething a bit and for the first time has rosy cheeks, which in itself caused me a bit of concern because this is our pale baby, she doesn't DO rosy!! Yesterday my sister-in law gave her this cute teething giraffe which seemingly is the no 1 teether in France since the 60's and Louise has been savaging it ever since!  My other concern is that when you lift or hold her now you can actually feel the heart defect with your hands...a rough whooshing sensation, I don't like it.  John said that's just because she's getting bigger and nothing to worry about and that she'll never have the familiar THUMP thump sound we generally expect from the heart.  Also Louise's pallor is ever so slightly more dusky than it has been-enough that my sister and my friend who's a cardiac nurse have noticed.  Of course her little feet are always blue.

So we're just on phone watching now .  I more or less have everything ready to throw in a bag apart from a few pjs for myself.  I have all the children's schoolbags packed for going back to school and their uniforms ready to put on.  There are dinners in the freezer and although most of the family on both sides and friends are either out of town,  about to give birth or just returned home with a newly adopted baby, there are a few definite babysitters still available at a moment's notice.  I'm on a major declutter campaign and the Christmas cleaning frenzy isn't a patch on what's going on now in this house!!  The bottom line though is that no amount of scrubbing, ironing or trying to cram in quality summer time with the children before it's prematurely truncated is going to take away my apprehension about the imminent future.  Truth is I'm worried sick.

So that's why I'm asking you my friends, some of you whom I know well and others of you whom I've never met nor would never have known but for Louise, to pray even more for us.  Firstly for Louise for this ordeal she's heading into and she doesn't even know.  For me that I get the courage which is eluding me at the moment.  For the children who will miss their little darlin' terribly when she's in and finally for John that he'll continue to keep this ship on an even keel.  I am fully aware of how many people around the world are praying and offering sacrifices big and small (and I think the young girl who's offering the fact that she's just gone blind and is in kidney failure is truly an exceptional person and if this is being read to you please know you are prayed for every day by us)  for Louise..I am eternally grateful to you all..more than you could ever imagine.